Beyond contempt

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English version below.

Jag har jobbat på SEB i snart 28 år och har varit rätt stolt över det. Men inte längre, nu tom skäms jag över att ha en arbetsgivare som är så omoralisk och närig, där det endast är kvartalsresultaten som styr. Omtanke om personalen är som bortblåst.

När jag började jobba där 1987 var SEB den “den goda banken” med personalkonsult, ekonomisk rådgivning, HR (och facket) stod på personalens sida, stöttade, kom med karriärförslag. etc. Detta är något som långsamt men säkert har urholkats, fasats ut och med jämna mellanrum har en del av personalen antingen ersatts med billigare personal i Baltikum eller helt enkelt blivit överflödiga. Till att börja med höll man någon sorts etisk nivå där det gamla fackliga rättesnöret “först in sist it” vidhölls, men allt efter åren har gått har detta ruckats på, oftast dock har det varit folk i arbetsför ålder med chans att hitta ny anställning som fått gå.

Men nu, när antalet anställda i Stockholm ska minskas i Stockholm eftersom endast 4500 personer får plats i Arenastaden har alla principer och den lilla moral som fanns kvar blåst bort. Inom ISD (utveckling IT) har 100 personer blivit övertaliga. Nu är det trotjänarna som får två års avgångsvederlag, de som jobbat i 30-35 år i banken och är mellan 57 och 61 år som anses vara överflödiga. Alltså, människor som vigt sitt liv till banken och varit obrottsligt lojala. Dom som besitter de gedigna kunskaper som inte längre “behövs”, dom som tackat nej till eller inte sökt den sk paragraf 8 pensionen (dvs avtalspension vid 61) för dom tänkte jobba enda fram till 65. Dom är helt plötsligt övertaliga! Vad har dom för chans på arbetsmarknaden när deras två årslöner är slut? Vid direkta frågor slingrar sig den nya ledning muttrandes: spjutspets kompetens, inte tillräckligt med “skills”, kompetensutveckling….vilket alla dessa övertaliga garanterat inte fått ta del av annars hade dom ju haft anställningen kvar. Undran – hur mycket skulle det ha kostat SEB att behålla dem till dess pension var möjlig? Det hade det varit det moraliska.

Jag tillhör de lyckligt lottade, jag har åldern inne och fick min avtalspension godkänd innan kvasten började vina och har därför bara några månader kvar innan jag kan vråla FREEDOM!!!! Kanske är det just därför jag väljer att ta “bladet från munnen” och säga vilken pinsam och totalt omoralisk väg SEB har valt att gå.

In English and maybe most of my American friends think of it as a normal way for employers to behave.

I’ve been working in one of Swedens largest commercial banks for almost 28 years and have been proud to be employed there. Now not so, I’m even embarrassed to have an employer who acts in such an immoral way and where the quarterly report is the rule of everything.

When I started to work in SEB in 1989 the bank was considered to be the caring, good place to work with functions supporting the employees and when HR (and the union) actually cared about us. This is something that slowly has gone down the drain, the personell have seen their work been moved to much cheeper Baltic countries, being made redundant but still the union rule “first in last out” have somehow mostly been kept.

Those times are over now, in the latest (but surely not the last) purge of personel within ISD (IT development) all normal ways are thrown into the wind. People who are between 57 and 61 yrs old, people who has been within the bank for more than 30 years are made redundant. Those who are the loyal ones, those who has stayed with the bank during good times and bad. Those who hasn’t applied for the early retirement program cause they wanted to stay until 65 yrs (the common retirement age). All of a sudden their knowledge isn’t worth anything, they are redundant. What chances do these people have to find new positions either within SEB or at the open market when the two year salary they get has run out? What would the cost have been for SEB to keep them until they could/would retire? Morals in Swedish work places used to be high, not so anymore.

I am the lucky one, I have my early retirement approved and in a couple of months I can yell FREEDOM from the top of my lungs. That is why I decided to “take the blade from my mouth” (ta bladet från munnen in Swedish) and tell what I think about the embarrassing, immoral way SEB have chosen to take.

Say Hi Manny

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Of course we couldn’t make it with just one dog and Diego hasn’t been himself since Arwen “disappeared”. We (that’s The DH) have read all adds at “Blocket” (think it’s like Craig list) emailed some but there has always been someone quicker than us. And – we wanted a girl cause we thought it would be easier….then I’ve seen on my doggie FB groups that many have two males and –  we did have two females without any trouble at all. So we found Jackie’s Acke/Tinus 4 months old Jack Russell boyfullsizerender-9The previous owners couldn’t keep him for one reason or the other and it was love at first sight. We named him Manny, to fit into the flock naming pattern and he has taken the transition in a stride.

As pups go he is one feisty little thing, sleeps all night and learned to manage the stairs in one day. Can commands as sit and I’m working on “stay” cause otherwise he is out the door like lightning when you open it. We are changing the food to the same as Diego, Canagan Country Game which is totally without any grain and if Fiona loved it, it must be good 😉 Taking them both out for a walk is a hassle, I had forgotten how much. Trying to keep their leashes untwined take som mind control and keeping Manny from getting his wrapped around various body parts with Diego trying to pull in a tother direction….well, you with dogs know what I mean.

Manny has only been with us for 4 days and he is very lovable. But not so much when in the early morning hours he wrap himself around my head and start to put my face with his tiny cute paws. But then again, I know he feels at home and safe with us.

Burn baby burn

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burnout

You would think that after 15 years you ought to know better. And especially since that outing in the early fall wrecked you for days. But no, oh no, you just had to work up some more hours than you are capable of working. More hours than you are and allowed to work. There is a reason for that you know.. But you brought home that piece that you where translating cause sitting at work with people babbling it was almost impossible to concentrate. So your worked some hours and kind of got a flow,, wanting to finish this and that paragraph and the hours added up. That evening you felt the same old exhaustion, almost painful. But a good night sleep and you where back in the saddle, finishing the whole thing. And then you had to go into the city with all them people and all that noise and movements, just to pick up a painting you won. Back home, The DH bought pizza and did you eat? Nope, it tasted like cardboard – remember those days way back in time when everything tasted like that? Had some wine and fell asleep in the armchair, of to bed and went into a comatose sleep, waking up still half dead. Went to buy groceries and felt like falling down from time to time.

I ask myself, why don’t I learn, this isn’t something that will never change, there is  damage after not one but two episodes of fatigue syndrome (or as it’s called burned out syndrome) that will never heal and I can only do so much. Well, think it will always be like this, I feel stronger and capable and over do it and back to square one. The backside is that nothing of this shows – I’m a big, strong woman on the outside and have quite a forceful personality and – is very good at keeping poker face and – bite the bullet.

But – I will persevere!!!

24f12d6100000578-2861107-stanford_university_research_published_in_october_last_year_reve-a-1_1421931277833PS that English translation turned out quite great and – I have enough overtime to have several days of 🙂

 

Stitch by the hand

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A moth or so ago I found some hand appliquéd Japanese Crest blocks fullsizerender-5in a drawer. I admit, I have no idea on when I made them nor how, but they looked semi good to me. And – I couldn’t remember where I got the pattern. Checked out my books on the subject, bought one with gazillion crests and ended up with doing google and printed some. Have the idea of making a quilt with like 4×5 different blocks.

As usual  getting from A to B isn’t always was easy as you had thought as is proven with these pics. The original:

img_4945img_4947Butt ugly as is this oneimg_4946And this:
img_4948Kind of hopeless….but practice makes perfect – right? So some more not worth showing and then – this

fullsizerender-3Not bad – huh? Now select another crest and practice for another …month? And maybe ordering some tiny yardage of fabrics.

Other than that it’s All Saints night here, black outside as a witch’s titty with a light dusting of snow on the ground and imagine, three years ago I had the time of my life in Houston along with Beth and Trish, my Amarican BGF. Remember a lady exclaiming “have you traveled all the way from Sweden just for this dhow?”. Hell yes and I would do it again, but maybe another show in another location 😉

Now time to start dinner!

PS How many of you have managed to stick the skin of your finger to the fabric – by hand? Just asking.

Ode to my second princess

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I have started this over and over during the last month, but never found the right words. So with aching heart I tell that exactly one month ago, Arwen crossed over the rainbow bridge and became one of the furry angels and – she got to meet her beloved Fiona again. Loosing one dog is hard, loosing two over 9months time is painful beyond words.

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No one can said that Fiona was overly enthusiastic when we brought Arwen home a bit over 11 years ago, in fact quite the opposite. Not that Arwen cared, she just buffed herself into Fionas life, not taking no or an answer. She was not the brightest dog, more of a bleached blond (sorry all blonds) but had the most loving, sweet and kind heart. And those eyes… even the vets that that they where the cutest ever seen. And she was like Michel Jackson said “I’m a lover, not a fighter. Not one for obedience, that class was a total wast of money “me obey? Tell me once again why?”IMG_3846-2But don’t let this big, brown velvety eyes fool you: behind them a very cunning mind lurked – the thieve of all things edible, a dog who never and ever learned the word NO! She didn’t hesitate to jump up against the kitchen counter, try to snag anything good smelling thing, licking the cutting board or, as we had friends over for dinner, snatched an entire pork tenderloin. Luckily we had two more so no one went hungry that day 🙂

The last 1.5 month she started to follow me round the house like a shadow, wherever I went she went too. Laid next to me on the couch across my legs, even sat on my lap , a RR lapdog? Yep, worked just fine from her perspective. LOL. So the decline started, hip joints gave her trouble, the bump on her nose grew, one eye a bit swollen, growths here and there seemed to multiply and she who always have been on the skinny side, started to look starved. Well then the day came when she sat down in front of me and did what Fiona did – gave me a soul penetrating stare. The day after all her joints seemed to give in, she couldn’t manage the stairs so The DH had to carry her upstairs and there and then we made the decision that it would end then and there. The next morning, me and John took her for her last car ride and the ending was quiet and calm.

As it was when Fiona passed, Diego was very low and in mourning for some weeks and as with Fiona, we can’t mention Arwen’s name without him sitting straight up with perked ears and just waiting for her to come home. The other day we saw a RR looking dog at Bögs gård (show working farm) and Diego couldn’t tear his eyes of her until he caught her scent and realized it wasn’t Arwen. IMG_3678She was really truly his mom and a very great one too and Diego never have realized that he is a Jack Russell, but a minor version of a Ridgeback. The house is very quiet, but every now and then I hear her (and Fiona?) castanets claws agains the wooden floors, see a shadow at the corner of me eyes.

Arwen my sweet, lovely baby I miss you as crazy but feel comforted by the thought that you are with Fiona and you both are running wild and free like a true Rhodesian Ridgeback should.

Starch in Style

Yes yes, I have been long gone writing but that is more because there hasn’t been enough going on to write about. Or maybe, the stuff that has been going on has been draining that there was no energy left. And in the creative space almost nothing has been happening for a long time. Until I saw some pictures of Yayoi Kusamas dotted art and got really inspired. But as always, from sketch to start always require some online shopping for fabrics. And then making perfect circles of various sizes wich requires starching. Since starch (ready made) comes in the most boring bottle, I decided to decant some into a old Portuguese perfume bottle I have on my desk and that made the process somewhat more satisfying. IMG_4559

And here is a sneak peak of the project to be – dots & dots 😉IMG_4562Vacation time coming up, The Dh has been renovating the pool for 2 weeks now,IMG_4563and the new liner (with insulation under and sidewise) is as I write almost filled with water. , What is left is the new pool deck and a “incubator” cover. If we are lucky we will have a premiere dip before the season is over LOL. Looking at it longingly since we are experience a heatwave the last couple of days, way to hot for me in the afternoons. Not to mention the nights….

Sam got a job at McD and have been working his butt of, which has paid of. John has started to take driving lessons even though he can’t do the exams until he is 18 next year but an early start will make the tests go flawlessly.

More about the project as it progresses.

I’m alive

Yes, it has been a while and I can’t say just why. Sometimes life just comes in the way and the need for lengthy writings is totally silent. That tree thing stumped me and I started over, made new leaves and new colorful round things too and then I got the news that my BGFF is seriously ill. That got me into a creative frenzy, just had the need to do something. So I went through my Linott books on jelly rolls, ordered some from eQuilter which might be on the upscale of prices but boy do they deliver fast – two days with DHL express. And this is the result of speed sewing, don’t think I made anything this fast before.IMG_4013The strips in between the rows and the borders is a kind of soldi fabric with a silver metal coat, not the easiest thing to sew with but alas, this is a comfy, cuddly quilt, not anything to exhibit;) It was delivered in person on Wednesday and my friend got very happy with both my surprise visit and the quilt. I drew 440km that day and still feel a bit out of it. Oh, I made a pitstop at Sam’s on the way back north and it was so wonderful to see him ❤

When I bought the jelly rolls of the quilt, I bought this one as well just cause the colors was so happy. Although I have no idea of what to make of it.
IMG_4022The DH and youngest son just went out for a meet wit the WestieIMG_4021The sun is shining but it’s still not very warm, hence the silly looking fleece hats LOL.Have a lovely 1st of May which still is a holiday here in Sweden. Why is beyond my understanding since the workers movement is long gone into history – or?

Tree climbing sort of

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Well I created a tree, a very strange on that is. It should have looked better turned upside down, but the trunk kind of make that impossible. And rip it out is even more impossible since the trunk and the branches are fused down and stitched in place. And I don’t have more of the background fabrics so starting over is a no-no. Gahhhh!!!IMG_3862Think it needs more leaves since some branches are too straight and long….Everything comes into a perspective when you look at a picture instead of real life. As always when one tiny creative obstacle is finished (almost) the rest of the project becomes a blur, not knowing what to do or where to start. So I let it be and do house wife things like the laundry, changing the bedsheets and cooking dinner (in the slow cooker) almost simultaneously. I just love that new piece of kitchen equipment, the favorites I made in it so far are spare ribs, rotisserie chicken, pulled beef and Jerusalem artichoke soup. Today it holds baby back ribs that will be finished of with a quick turn on the grill, served with fries and some sort of barbecue/texan cold sauce.

The big question is – where will the unicorn fit in????

Hey Mr postman

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Had to get some fabrics (you would think I have enough – ha!) so I ordered from one of my favorite places eQuilter and ordered some the green one is for grass 😉IMG_3855 IMG_3856I really like these ombre fabrics, the tweedy maybe for border or more grass? The others just for fun, because I’m worth it 😉 Not entirely sure how I will make grass…have a picture in my creative mind though. So I ordered for 72USD and paid 29 for DHL Express delivery. And it got here in two days time – Denver-Sollentuna in mere two days!?!

Now you might think that 29USD for shipping is steen, but compared to USPS flat rate expedited is a whooping $32.95 and that for sure don’t take 2 days to get here. I don’t get it, but any quilt shop that has DHL Express as an alternative will have my business.

I have a guilty pleasure – I subscribe to Glossybox, just love the idea of getting different sized samples of beauty things each month. Some months are just great and I keep it all and get to learn new stuff, others are not altogether my thing, so I give them to friends and they are soon happy 🙂 So when Fat Quartershop mailed and saíd that they will do the same with sewing stuff, a sampler box each month I couldn’t help myself but jumped right in. And with the introduction price of 98cent including shipping, who can blame me?

What I’m going to do with all them boxes, now that is a different issue totally LOL.

Have lovely weekend all, here spring is gearing up.

Healthcare musings

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I know there is much talk in the USA about Bernie and his ideas of single payer healthcare system. It is interesting and when you think how shitty the healthcare system they have now is, anything else must be better. Here in Sweden we pay among the highest taxes in the world and thanks to that we get (among quite a few other things) heavily subsidized healthcare. If you within 365 days pay 1100SEK (130USD) for doctors and district nurse visits, you get the rest of the 365 free healthcare.

So when I yesterday met four different doctors it didn’t cost me anything. That was an eye specialist, my GP and two doctors at the emergency room – for “free”. Pretty amazing. Why all these docs? Six years since the first diagnosis, Bells Palsy is back and I just plain hate it. But I am pretty grateful that I went to the eye doc with the pain behind my right eye and positively torrents of tears that has occurred a couple of times the last weeks. That visit kind of rolled the ball into action. Not that there is very much to do about it, some short term steroid treatment (6 pills first day…..1 pill sixth day). The only good thing is that it’s not as disastrous as the first time and my vanity is somewhat but not altogether intact. Referral to “my” ear doc Bells Palsy specialist is sent.

Well on the good side, I have 7 17-18yr old guys in my basement having a LAN party. The DH set it all up so it looks like a Houston control centre LOL. But the heat, the heat!!!! Me and The DH is set for a cheese fondue and movie night. Tomorrow 70 yr party for my DSIL out in the archipelago 😀 The dogs and son stay at home. Goooood!