I have started this several times over, but finding the right words isn’t easy. It’s 4 pm over here and pit dark outside (wrote this part yesterday), the same darkness that line my heart and soul cause as of Monday morning my precious Fiona is no longer with us. My Fiffi who have been my beloved companion for almost 14 years have walked over the Rainbow Bridge to be with friends, boyfriend and family. 
In the fall of 2001 we decided that the time was right for us to get a dog and we fell in love with the Rhodesian Ridgebacks breed We drove down to the dark parts of Småland the day before Christmas and came home with a chubby girl who puked all over the car on the 300km drive and made our house her palace (she is named after the Princess Fiona in Shrek)
She never understood why she couldn’t have nibble out of these living chewing toys (the kids) cause she liked the way they squealed LOL, or why we got upset with her for chewing the knobs on the kitchen drawers to splinters while left alone for short while. 
Hey, who want to be alone closed in a kitchen without any food? Suit yourselves! Trying to teach her to sleep in her own bed was hopeless so for many years she slept behind me knees under the covers ;o And at times she found better places to nap:
As we, Fiona found her soulmate and fell in love with Lukas the magnificent (aka Lucky Luke). Every time I told her that he was on the way or that we was going over to him, she ran to the door and sat there waiting. And I heard from Lukas mom, that it was mutual.
I don’t think RR are very cuddly as a breed and they decide how and when (at least Fiona did) so the moments when she wanted to be close was very treasurable. Like when I was allowed to rest my head on her flank or she snuggled up behind me on the couch and laid her head under my chin watching a movie. Precious moments. IMHO RR are smart dog and Fiona very so, she understand more spoken words than any other dog I have met. She was proud, a bit aloof, great guardian (especially when the evil mutt Vicky or the dalmatian Prillan walked by), funny, loyal. So loyal that she nipped The DHs side when he snuck in the backdoor and scared the living lights out of me. She reacted in a blink of the eye to my scream, not even taking the time to see who it was she sank her teeth into LOL. Never try to make a RR to do something it don’t want to do (they are stubborn as hell), it’s totally hopeless unless you ply it with meatballs or dried black pudding 😉
14 years (and a month) is very much for a RR and her breeder told me that Fiona was the only one in her litter that was still alive. Up till like 6 months ago she has been quite well, but then she started to decline. Her growths and bumps got the worst of her and in the end she didn’t want to go on morning walks, food was less and less appetizing (until I found this disgusting smelling stuff in a plastic sausage – that was like doggie dope or something). She got bit annoying toward the end, woke up in the middle of the night to go pit a pat all over the wooden floors tapping her claws. What she wanted I don’t know, she went back to sleep on the couch after a while. Maybe waking us up and was enough? 
As I told on FB, last Friday she climbed up on the couch, sat very close, put ner nose to mine and stared me in the eyes. I know that is when she told me enough is enough, I want out of here. So two days later I made the call to the vets, (the hardest decision ever) and I took her there Monday morning, all calm and stressless. While the sedative was working I talked about the wonderful life we have had together and whispered to her the names of my darling friends pets and dogs we have known who have gone before her – twice, so she would remember who to look for at the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. I didn’t cry much yesterday, but I do now and frankly, anyone dare to tell me she was “just” a dog, I will punch them in the nose – hard!!
Fiona, Arwen is crying for you (in case you wonder, yes dogs can cry) in the evenings and is looking for what is missing. My heart will heal and my soul remember all the good and great times and I’m pretty sure that Arwen and Diego are saying to me (like John did when I sniveled after Sam moved away from home) but Mama, you have us. And lucky me who does. And hey you, Fiffiliff, I will love your forever and ever.
fussy cuts, perfect circles, tiny yo-yos, will somehow fit into a tree. Not entirely sure what goes on in my mind all the time ;-O
Need a bit more work, especially on the proportions of the trunk, but I think it is one step forward, at least a small one.
There is a bit of the family puzzle missing. Two weeks have gone and it’s still kind of quiet around here – Diego and Arwen are still low and every now and then Arwen come and sit near me and quietly cry. My poor baby girl – all 10 years of her.
Some might consider it strange, but we don’t mention Fionas name around Arwen in case she start looking for her again. When I leave the house and return home, she has this confused look on her face like she expected me to bring Fiona back home. And how I wish I could. I look at the last pictures of her in my cell every now and then and shed a few tears. I know in my heart that we did the right thing to let her go, but oh how I miss her.
wolfiestitchin 